Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: your money beliefs.
You know that sick feeling when you avoid opening your banking app?
That wave of shame when you realize you’ve been “too busy” to organize your numbers for three months running?
The way you feel simultaneously too smart to be this confused and too dumb to ask the questions burning in your mind?
You’re not broken. You’re human.
The Hidden Money Pain We Don’t Talk About
Can you relate to any of these?
The Paralysis of Perfectionism
You tell yourself you’ll get organized when you have time to do it “right.” Meanwhile, the chaos compounds, and the overwhelm grows.
The Competence Trap
You run a business, manage a household, solve complex problems daily—yet when it comes to your money, you feel like you’re speaking a foreign language that you never really learned. The disconnect is jarring and deeply unsettling.
The Question Shame
“Shouldn’t I know this by now?” You’d rather struggle in silence than admit you don’t understand the difference between profit and cash flow, or why your business is “profitable” but your bank account feels empty.
The Comparison Game
Everyone else seems to have it figured out. Their Instagram stories talk about how great they are doing in business which creates assumptions that they are financially organized and making confident decisions while you’re drowning in receipts and anxiety.
The Science Behind Your Struggle
Here’s what neuroscience tells us about beliefs and behavior:
Your Brain on Money Stories
Research shows that our financial behaviors are driven by unconscious beliefs often formed in childhood. These beliefs create neural pathways that influence our automatic responses to money situations, making certain patterns feel natural (that we may actually need to stop doing) and other patterns feel uncomfortable (that we may need to start doing).
The Emotional Intelligence Factor
Studies by psychologist Daniel Goleman reveal that emotional intelligence (EQ) is a key predictor of leadership success and workplace performance. Women often have high EQ but may struggle to apply it to money management because we’ve been conditioned to view finance as purely logical, not emotional.
The Stress Response Cycle
When you think about looking at your finances and there’s an underlying negative belief (like the ones we talk about below), your brain’s threat detection system (the amygdala) can interpret this as danger and trigger a stress response. This releases cortisol, a hormone that actually impairs your ability to think clearly and make good decisions. Avoiding your numbers isn’t laziness or weakness—it’s your brain trying to protect you, even though it’s not actually helpful (hence the need to rewire with new beliefs).
Neuroplasticity and Hope
The beautiful truth is that your brain remains changeable throughout your life. Neuroscience research has proven that with consistent practice, you can literally rewire the neural pathways that govern your behaviors, including financial ones.
The Belief-to-Profitability Connection
Your beliefs about money aren’t just mindset fluff—they’re behavior drivers.
Here are some example beliefs many women navigate and the correlating behaviors that can result:
Belief 1: “I’m not good with numbers”
Reality: This belief creates avoidance behaviors that lead to missed opportunities, delayed decisions, and financial inefficiencies.
Belief 2: “Focusing on money makes me greedy”
Reality: This moral conflict can reduce your pricing confidence and willingness to advocate for fair compensation or cause you to ignore your numbers and systems altogether.
Belief 3: “I should be able to figure this out alone”
Reality: This independence myth delays profitable decisions. Women who invest in financial guidance, support and education consistently make better financial choices.
The Transformation Path: From Chaos to Clarity
Step 1: Reframe the Narrative
Replace “I’m bad with money” with “I’m learning to be intentional with money.” This single shift activates your brain’s growth pathways instead of its protection mechanisms.
Step 2: Start with Emotional Data
Before diving into spreadsheets or accounting software, track your financial emotions for one week. Notice when you feel confident, anxious, or avoidant around money. This awareness is the foundation of lasting change.
Step 3: Ask Better Questions
Instead of “Why am I so behind with understanding my money?” try “What do I need to learn or whose help do I need to make this feel easier?” This shifts your brain from shame-based thinking to solution-focused thinking.
Step 4: Create Safety in Your Numbers
Organize your finances in small, manageable chunks. Set a timer for 15 minutes daily. When you feel safe with your numbers, you make better decisions.
Step 5: Connect Money to Meaning
Link every financial goal to a deeper purpose. Research shows that meaning-driven financial behaviors are 5x more likely to stick than fear-based ones. (Recommended Reading: How to Be Financially Fearless)
Your Profitable Belief Makeover
Old Belief: “Money is complicated, and I’ll never understand it.”
New Belief: “Money is a tool I’m learning to use with intention and skill.”
Old Belief: “If I take care of myself and focus on making more money, I’m being selfish. I need to take care of everything/everyone else first.”
New Belief: “Taking care of my financial wellbeing allows me to take better care of others and model boundaries and abundance.”
Old Belief: “I should have this figured out by now.”
New Belief: “Every successful person is continuously learning about money.”
The Bottom Line
Your relationship with your numbers isn’t just about intellect—it’s about emotional intelligence, intentional practice, and supportive community.
The women who transform their financial lives don’t do it by becoming different people; they do it by becoming more compassionate with themselves while building sustainable systems.
Your gutsy money journey isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress, one conscious choice at a time.
You’ve got this. And more importantly, you don’t have to do this alone. Find community. Enroll support.
With financial love and fierce support,
Terra Rose
P.S. We recorded an awesome Podcast with The Motherhood Mentor called Money Matters where we dive deeper into mindset – listen here.
P.S.S. Keep this top of mind.
